IT was her own damaged childhood that made Gillian Finch establish the CIS’ters charity.

As a child, Gillian loved school and to most people she would have seemed like any other pre-teen.

However, she was carrying a secret that would later lead to a series of breakdowns and suicide attempts.

Her father had been physically, emotional and sexually abusing her for years.

“My father was a bully. He was a domestically, verbally and emotionally abusive alcoholic.

“But to the outside world, he was a very charismatic, believable upstanding member of the community,” said Gillian, whose father was an inspector in the Ministry of Defence.

What began with sexual contact when Gillian was 10 years old developed into full penetrative rape until she fled the family home at the age of 15.

“By the time I was 12, my father was raping me two or three times a week and to me, he was a police man in a policeman’s uniform.

“My situation was violent, it was a form of control and bullying,” she said.

Her only escape was school and due to the severe stress of her home life she often struggled to actively participate in lessons.

“He would insist I had no rights, he said it was just something that fathers did. Saying ‘no’ was meaningless and it would be more dangerous to object. If I complied it would be over quicker,” said the daughter of the former serviceman.

The turning point for Gillian was when she was 15, she discovered that she was pregnant and felt that suicide was the only way she could escape her abuse.

“He used to manipulate everyone, create opportunities to be alone with you. Perpetrators groom everyone around the child and create opportunities to be alone with them.”

Gillian said that some children of incest do not come forward because they are trying to protect someone who is emotionally or financially dependant on the perpetrator, in Gilian’s case it was her mother - who she believes was a victim of domestic violence.

“She was isolated by him but she did not hurt us like he did. So I thought I couldn’t burden her with another issue to deal with.”

Days later, Gillian had a miscarriage while suffering from severe pains and it was then she knew it was time to flee the family home.

She married a “kind and nice” man, who nurtured her while she had a successful career in auditing.

But when another family member disclosed the full extent of his abuse after her father’s death, Gillian’s breakdown was triggered as she uncovered that she was not her father’s only victim.

“It was the first time I realised that when I left, I had left my younger siblings behind,” said the charity founder from Eastleigh.

She said that this lead to a series of psychotic episodes, including hearing, seeing and feeling like she was being touched by her father.

This lead to Gillian’s quest to create a safe space for other adults who suffered incest as children.

“If I had a life-threatening illness, I would want to meet someone that had had it and survived,” said Gillian, whose breakdown caused her to try and take her own life on a number of a occasions.

Now the charity founder has helped more than 1,300 women and continues to raise awareness of the issue.

Alongside other organisations, the charity will be in Westquay tomorrow as part of “#ItsNotOK”, a nationwide campaign to tackle sexual abuse and sexual violence.

  • Comic Relief awarded the charity £1,000 for the purchase of promotional and informative tools.

This year the Daily Echo is urging readers to support Red Nose Day, as Comic Relief’s media partners.

Throughout this month we will be looking at some of the charities in Hampshire which benefited from generosity of people of the south.

Readers who want to organise fundraising events can get more information at rednoseday.com. Let us know of you events by emailing hannah.carroll@dailyecho.co.uk .

Red Nose Day is on March 24.