NICK Lang doesn't remember hearing the word 'stillborn' before he and his wife were told that their full-term unborn baby's heart had stopped beating.

"Once you've had the 20-week scan, they say you're in the 'safe zone'," says the father-of-three.

"There's lots of misinformation out there about things like baby movements."

Stillbirths, when a baby dies after 24 weeks of gestation, have fallen in the UK over the last decade, but there are still nine stillbirths every day in the UK, and rates are significantly lower in a number of other countries.

Nick wants to raise awareness about baby loss and also to help support parents who have lost a baby.

For this reason, he has got together with another father who has lost a baby to set up a football team for local fathers and other male family members affected by baby loss, Sands United FC Solent.

Nick and Peter Mosley, who lost his son, Arthur, at 21 weeks, both wanted to set up a local team for men who had lost a baby to give them a space for support and friendship, with people who understand what each other are going through.

"People can come and know the support will be there," says Nick, from Waterlooville.

"It will be an informal space for dads to feel safe and comfortable to talk about their loss when they need to."

Nick adds that every story of baby loss is different, but that it helps to be with other people who have had similar experiences and an understanding of some of the issues that dads who lose a child can face.

"Our oldest child, Ieuan, was four at the time that we lost Evalyn," says Nick, who now also has another daughter, Iola, who is 16 months old.

"It was very difficult for him.

"Ieuan was a huge therapy to us, without him knowing it, whereas for some mums and dads who don't already have a child, it can be a harder loss. We have also been very fortunate to have Evalyn's younger sister. Some people don't experience the birth of another child after a loss. People can assume that if you fell pregnant once, you will again, but pregnancy after loss can be very difficult.

"Baby loss is a tricky grieving process. You are grieving for something you were hoping for, for what could have been."

Peter and his wife Sorrel lost their baby, Arthur, last January.

He says that his and Sorrel's grief processes were quite different.

"She was grieving for the baby she knew," says the 31-year-old from Fareham.

"She had felt him, he had been with her. I was grieving for the idea of being a father. It was very difficult for me to get my head round the idea. I did hold him but it was very painful to look at him, and I haven't been able to look at the photos of him since.

"She had a strong sense of being a mother. I didn't identify as a dad in the aftermath, but I do now.

"At first, I felt that we were the only ones who understood what we were going through.

"It's hard to accept that this loss will always be there with us," adds Peter.

"I was really overwhelmed by how much support we had when we first lost Arthur but people do find it difficult to understand. I found this especially at my work as a primary school class teacher.

"People would ask how I was, but they didn't want an honest answer.

"I ended up leaving my job as a class teacher and becoming a supply teacher, because it was too much with work and what I was going through at home."

Both Nick, and his wife Lyndsey and Peter and Sorrel were directed to Sands, the stillbirth and neonatal death charity.

They went to local support groups and received further support from the charity and elsewhere.

Being among people who had had similar experiences has been, and continues to be, hugely supportive.

But both men felt that fathers would benefit from a separate space of their own, and were each inspired by Northants Sands United to contact their local Sands group to suggest setting up a football team.

"There was a lot of support from mums in the online groups, but a distinct lack of dads," says Nick.

"I wanted to bring dads together without saying 'we're going to talk about all the doom and gloom and misery that we've been through,' but pull them together, where they can offer each other support."

Peter adds: "I'd have really appreciated something like the football team that we're setting up when we first lost Arthur.

"Bringing a group of guys together who've experienced baby loss provides a network and gives people the chance to channel their grief into something positive.

"It also provides an opportunity to help keep the memory of the baby they have lost alive, without there being any pressure to share, although hopefully being in a supportive environment regularly will mean they do feel comfortable to do so."

Both Nick and Peter speak of the importance of keeping their baby's memory alive and of saying their name, and recognising their ongoing presence in their lives.

"The players in our football team will all have their baby's name on their shirts," says Peter.

"It's important to recognise that the babies existed and to recognise all these guys as dads."

"We want to keep the memory alive, it's so important," adds Nick.

"It's also helping to raise awareness about an important subject. Lots of parents don't want to talk about their loss for a variety of reasons. We are giving them a voice, and raising awareness of Sands and hopefully we will raise some funds for them too."

So far around 30 men have put their names down for the team, and the pair are hoping that more men who have experienced baby loss, whether they are dads, uncles, grandfathers or other family members, will come forward.

They only began setting the team up a few weeks ago and the first meet up will take place tomorrow, March 27, at The Sir Alex Rose Pub in Port Solent.

As well as looking for more players, Nick and Peter are also looking for sponsorship from local businesses and for a permanent ground, ideally in Hedge End or Fareham.

"It can be difficult for men to talk about their feelings," says Peter.

"We want to help break that down, and hope this team will help them to open up."

* For more information, search for Sands United FC Solent on Facebook, or email sandsunitedfcsolent@gmail.com

For more information about stillbirth and neonatal death charity Sands, visit www.sands.org.uk or call 0808 1643332.