A DOCTOR whose marriage was tested to the limit because of sleep deprivation has launched her own business to help other families reclaim their night-time slumber.

Rachel Helyar says her family was “completely broken” by a lack of sleep when their second daughter, Leila, stayed awake half the night.

The 32-year-old, from Brockenhurst, says they had no sleep problems with their eldest daughter, Eloise, so it was a shock when their second child caused so much trouble in the early hours.

“She was hideous,” recalls Rachel, “She screamed from 5pm to 1am every night. It completely broke us as a family, and my husband and I were just co-existing as a couple, we weren’t husband and wife.

"We snapped at each other, having never previously argued at all, and had completely irrational arguments in the middle of the night. We weren’t enjoying life.

"We were sleeping in separate beds, as I was dealing with the baby and he was dealing with the toddler. When my daughter referred to the spare room as 'Daddy's room,' we knew something wasn't right.

The couple tried various sleep training techniques, but Rachel says they always gave up.

Eventually, when Leila turned 16 months, the couple reached breaking point and knew something needed to change, so, in desperation, they paid for a sleep consultant to offer advice.

Miraculously, within a few weeks and with a few simple changes, Leila began sleeping through the night, allowing the family to enjoy their life again.

“She told me a lot of things I knew already, but she broke it down and talked through what we were doing and described in detail how to respond and the importance of being consistent.

"Every few weeks we had been trying something new, but we weren’t committed, and we were both doing different things in the middle of the night. With the sleep consultant, we had paid someone, and we were accountable to her as she kept checking in, so we stuck with it and it worked.

"Bedtime was fine, but the issue had been dealing with night waking. You are tired and you back down and start giving mixed messages."

Rachel says that there can be issues with sleep for her daughters, now aged two and four, such as when the family moved house in March, but by sticking to a consistent routine, its settles down within a few days.

Inspired by the incredible transformation in Leila’s sleep, Rachel decided to train as a sleep consultant to help other families in desperate need.

“I’m passionate about it,” enthuses Rachel, “Because I know what a lack of sleep can do to a family.”

Rachel, who also works as an NHS doctor, says she hopes her background in medicine will show other parents that the techniques she uses are based on evidence, adding: “People are dubious of sleep training and think there’s no science behind it, but I have researched what I’m doing, and it does work.

“There are two or three techniques which can be tweaked depending on the family and their parenting styles. Some people can’t bear crying, so there’s no point giving them a sleep plan they don’t feel comfortable with.”

She urges parents not to wait until they are at breaking point, adding: “Getting help was the best thing we did. Our lives were transformed within weeks, I just wish we had sought help sooner.

“There is a negative impact on the child – not getting enough sleep can affect physical growth because the body doesn’t have a chance to restore itself with rest. Immune systems don’t work as effectively, and it affects mental health, making a child grumpy and difficult to deal with.”

Rachel says one of the biggest hurdles with sleep training is convincing the older generation of its importance.

“It wasn’t around when they were younger,” she says, adding: “But women now go back to work, so they need sleep. In general, in life we expect more and cram a lot more into our day, so we don’t want to be tired.”

She also says there are lots of misconceptions around sleep, with many people believing dropping a nap, making bedtime later or exhausting a child during the day will result in them sleeping better at night.

In fact, Rachel says the opposite is true, adding: “The more rested a child is, the better they will sleep at night. I worked with one family with twins who were waking at 4am every day and had been advised to cut their naps during the day, and it didn’t work. I suggested putting them to bed earlier at 6.30pm, and now they are sleeping through.

For people worried about the cost of sleep training, she says: “You can’t put a price on happiness and your wellbeing. In the scheme of things this is a small price to pay to teach your child life-long sleep skills.”

For more information and to book a free 15-minute introductory call visit rachelsleepconsultant.com

or www.facebook.com/rachelhelyarsleepnanny.

Rachel's top tips:

If your child is poorly they may need Calpol at bedtime and during the night and an extra cuddle, but you should do the minimum possible for the shortest time possible. Habits like cuddling your child to sleep often continue when they are better and can be hard to get out of, so go back to what you were doing before as quickly as possible.

With younger children, know their 'wakeful window', the period that they can comfortably go between naps, and don't push them to be awake for too long.

Know the signs of over-tiredness. Some people say their child is fine if they are running around at 9pm, but that means they are beyond over-tired and should have gone to bed a couple of hours earlier. Hyper episodes at bedtime, struggling to get to sleep and generally being grotty in the day are all signs of over-tiredness.

If a child is over-tired, they need to fill up their sleep tank. You can put them to bed up to an hour earlier than usual, otherwise you're changing time zones.