FOR a long time, Lucy Dean didn't recognise that she was depressed.

The now 22-year-old from Weston says that she now realises that depression crept on four years ago, when she left college and felt a lack of direction.

"I felt really low," she says.

"I didn't know what I wanted to do. My friends around me all seemed to know what career they wanted and I didn't. Some things also happened in my personal life, with trust issues, and I felt I didn't know who I could trust, which didn't help.

"I had a part-time job which I didn't enjoy and I put it up to full time, just because I didn't know what to do and I thought it might help, but it made me feel more depressed as I hated being there."

Lucy says that she often found herself close to tears for the whole day, and that she was tired all the time, but couldn't sleep at night.

"Sometimes I just felt empty, completely lacking in motivation and couldn't get out of bed," she adds.

"It was a very dark place, and I felt very alone.

"For a long time, I didn't realised that I was depressed," she continues.

"I thought I was just having a bit of a hard time. It was my mum who said maybe I needed to go to the doctor.

"I finally went, and was put on anti-depressants, but I didn't feel they helped. But speaking to a professional made me realise that there really was something wrong, and that helped a bit.

"I went back to my GP and she upped the dose but I still didn't feel it was helping, so I thought maybe I needed to do something for myself."

Lucy turned to the internet for help.

"I started watching YouTube videos about how to get over the depression and followed the advice.

"It made me realise that I needed to do something.

"I decided that I would take up a hobby, not to help with what I wanted to do as a career, but really to take my mind off of things a bit and also to feel that I was achieving something."

At the start of this year, Lucy began going to the gym regularly and quickly noticed her mood was improving.

"It gave me a reason to get out of bed and exercise also releases happy endorphins, so it made me feel good," she says.

"Then someone I follow on the internet mentioned taking part in the Miss Swimsuit competition. I thought I'd apply and see what happened. It was really good to give me something to work towards."

Lucy adds that she had lost a lot of weight while she was depressed, having lost her appetite.

"Miss Swimsuit UK is a pageant which specifically encourages healthy body image among young women," she says.

"That was really important to me, as I had low self-esteem and my body image was so poor as I was so insecure because I didn’t look a certain way."

Lucy took part in the competition on July 1, and came third in the public vote, meaning that she will be in the final in October.

"It was nerve-wracking but at the same time, an amazing experience," she says.

"It was one of the happiest days of my life!

"Everyone was so nice. The CEO and presenter noticed that I was shy, and kept trying to help me out and boost my confidence.

"At first I felt I couldn't do it, but the girls were all so lovely. People think of it as a mean environment, but it wasn't. Everyone was so enthusiastic and supportive, it really helped my confidence.

"Miss Swimsuit has helped me to accept my flaws and embrace what is unique about me. Also the gym has helped with this, because it help me to focus and to improve how I felt about myself overall."

Lucy now feels that she has shaken off depression for good.

"I haven't felt low in the last seven months, since I started going to the gym," she says.

"I feel like I'm in a much better place. Of course, it's early days, as it's only seven months as opposed to four years of feeling depressed.

"I have a much more positive mindset now," she adds.

"If I'm having a bad day, I stop and find the positives."

Taking part in the competition has also offered Lucy a new potential career path, as it has led to several modelling jobs, including with a national newspaper.

"It makes the feel that everything happens for a reason," she says.

"I really want to go into modelling full-time now. I've started to go down this path, and I feel it really suits me. It sounds cheesy, but I feel like this is my destiny."

Lucy is now looking forward to taking part in the final of the Miss Swimsuit competition, and hopes it will lead to more work and, hopefully, being signed with a modelling agency.

She adds that it can feel particularly hard to get help for depression if you are young.

"I always felt that if I reached out, older people would think I was silly and say 'you're young, what have you got to be depressed about'?," she says.

"But it can be very hard for young people. You can be seen as a failure if you're not at university and don't have a great job, so there's a lot of pressure.

"I’m a very private person too, so not many people know I have suffered with depression other than my mum and dad.

"I hope me speaking up about this gets those who are suffering alone to speak up and make some changes.

"I feel a lot more could be done to let young people who are feeling depressed know that they are not alone."

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