WHEN Michael Forester began to lose his hearing at the age of 30, he had no idea what a devastating effect it would have on his life, including contributing to the break down of his marriage.

The father of two had been missing what people were saying in conversation and had had to turn his TV up so went to the doctor, where he was diagnosed with a progressive genetic condition which lead to total hearing loss.

He was diagnosed with accelerated degradation of hair cells on the cochlea and lost his hearing over a number of years.

"I had some very awkward situations, including a hugely embarrassing situation where I misunderstood what was said to me by the checkout person at a supermarket," says Michael, who recently celebrated his 62nd birthday.

"It led to some very painful mockery, which made me draw back from social interaction.

"I died that day. Or, if not all of me, some part of me that is no longer there.

"Fear of misunderstanding and saying the wrong thing in response often makes people with hearing loss withdraw from social interaction.

"The real problem with deafness is its inherently invisible nature," Adds Michael, who worked in management consultancy and is now a full-time author.

"Were I in a wheel chair, were I to have a club foot, you would see my disability. I might not like your reaction, but you would know, and you would reposition your responses accordingly. Because deafness is invisible, it is different."

Michael leant to avoid social interaction, meaning avoiding occasions like parties, but also things like the deli counter at the supermarket, where he would have to speak to a stranger.

For Michael, losing his hearing was a frightening and turbulent experience, due, in part, to the fact that a prognosis was not possible.

"I was a young man with a family and responsibilities," says Michael, whose daughters were eight and five at the time of his diagnosis.

"It was impossible to predict the trajectory of the loss and I had no way of knowing what adjustments I would have to make.

"I reacted with fear, anger and depression – all of the bereavement responses – only much later coming to terms with the reality of what was happening, but not before my world had been profoundly and permanently changed by divorce."

Michael says that his hearing loss was a significant factor in the breakdown of his marriage.

"My social isolation and unwillingness to engage undoubtedly played a significant part. I felt alone with this condition. It was only later that I began attending lip reading classes and discovered the experience was common to many."

Michael says that with time, he became increasingly reclusive.

"We engage in so much small talk in social situations, humour with throw away lines delivered too quickly for someone with hearing loss to hear.

"You miss the jokes that everyone else is laughing at.

"In noisy environments like pubs, parties and dinner parties, all of which had figured significantly in my social life previously, background noise makes it impossible to sustain a conversation.

"Hearing becomes exhausting. As a result, you become disinclined to communicate verbally. It's simply too hard unless it's essential."

Two years ago, Michael was fitted with a cochlear implant. He can wear the device for a few hours at a time and hears reasonably well with it.

But the biggest positive impact on his life has been getting a hearing dog, Matt, back in 2004.

And Michael recently won the prestigious words for the Wounded writing prize for non-fiction his book about his first year with Matt, If It Wasn't For That Dog.

Michael applied for a hearing dog after spotting an advert in the RNID magazine.

It took a while, including an intensive week-long residential training programme, for Michael to bond with Matt, but with perseverance and some chopped liver, they developed a fantastic, life-changing relationship.

"Matt has changed my life immeasurably," says Michael.

"He has reconnected me with the world at large in a way that I could never have anticipated.

"He has engendered me with much more self-confidence, and has brought joy back into my life in spades, as well as hearing noises around my home and telling me about them!

"His biggest impact has been what you might call normalisation. He has made it automatic for me to go out again. In being out and about, he has initiated conversations with many people who want to meet him, to talk about what he does and understand what hearing dogs do."

In his book, Michael recalls some of the early difficulties he experienced with Matt, such as the dog leaving an unwanted deposit on his floor, because Michael hadn't factored in taking him somewhere to go to the toilet, and being told that he wasn't blind when he tried to explain in a cafe that hearing dogs were allowed in, like guide dogs.

And he also shares how Matt increasingly became part of his day-to-day life, and what a difference that made to him.

He recalls an occasion when he realised how great Matt's impact was.

A man at a class Michael was attending admired how Michael coped with his deafness and asked if he always been like that."

"I was thinking about the answer, when my old friend Penny interjected," says Michael.

"She said 'No, in fact he’s only been like this for the last six months. He’d be almost entirely reclusive and unable to communicate socially if it wasn’t for the dog.'

"I looked at her, taking in what she was saying. Being me, and therefore being with me all the time, it’s difficult to calibrate how I am now to compared to how I used to be in the era before Matt was with me. But if Penny was right – and she was in a much better position to observe this than I was – then Matt was making a much bigger difference to my life that I could possibly have anticipated.

"I had no concept at all of how great his impact on my life would be, and at so many levels," adds Michael.

"He has quite simply turned my life around."

* Michael's book, If It Wasn't For That Dog, is available signed and dedicated through his website, michaelforester.co.uk/books. He will make a 20 percent contribution to the charity Words for the Wounded if the buyer uses the coupon code words-for-the-wounded