WELL, the birthday seemed to go quite well. I did feel a pang of guilt at not having organised something resembling a party but what with the recent move I didn’t think it prudent to sort a shindig as the location would have been somewhat up in the air.

He didn’t seem to mind in any case. We enjoyed a day at the Blue Reef Aquarium, which was a big hit, although it took some time for Ben to realise that the big old sharks were not going to burst out of the tank as it inched towards him behind the glass.

Pick of the presents this year was thankfully the one we spent the most money on – the bike. Complete with helmet, he did look the part. I wouldn’t say we have got a budding Chris Hoy in the making but at least he was keen. He was happy enough to sit in the saddle and pedal, albeit backwards so ineffectively he went nowhere.

But this wasn’t a major problem, as he was parked in front of the television at the time. It meant he could get the benefit of Peppa Pig while doing a sort of stationary workout.

Suits me, best of both words really.

Another big hit was equipment for an egg and spoon race. Four brightly coloured, oversized spoons, complete with plastic eggs and egg-fashioned beanbags that spilt out when the egg inevitably came crashing to the floor.

Turns out he loves the egg action, although I fear for his school future come sports day. He doesn’t seem to realise that you have to keep the egg on the spoon as long as possible.

He prefers to walk at speed before intentionally dropping the precious package at which point he declares “Ben’s the winner”.

Not content with getting the rules completely backwards he then makes sure no one has the opportunity to finish with their egg intact. His spoon quickly turns ‘bat’ and he chases after his opponents with a menacing look in his eye and promptly whacks the eggs out of their spoons. Nice.

That would be an instant red card in a school sporting event. I can imagine the shame as I survey a race track strewn with broken shells and scrambled eggs having to ‘escort’ my young thug from the sporting arena still brandishing the offending spoon.